


Whirlwinds and Pony Rides

by CurlicueCal, LaughingStones



Series: Shadowbound AU [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: :P, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Demonstuck, First Kiss, Humanstuck, M/M, Polyamory, Relationship Negotiations, Second Kiss, magic as science, shadows as daemons/familiars, so much goddamn innuendo seriously boys, soulbond, third kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8751829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlicueCal/pseuds/CurlicueCal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingStones/pseuds/LaughingStones
Summary: You know, the last dude to keep you this wrong-footed you ended up living with, Hal said.  Think this one’s about to move in?I-- Dirk realized he had no idea what to say.  Down the hall the shower shut off. Oh, thank god.Yes, naked Gamzee entering this clusterfuck, Hal said dryly.  You’re saved.





	

Dirk didn’t know what he was expecting when he opened the door, but it wasn’t five feet of angry latino undergrad, brushy-haired and built like a tiny tank. The dude looked him up and down over folded arms, heavy brows furrowed and eyes extremely skeptical. Behind him, his shadow bulked considerably larger, also with arms crossed. “Gamzee forgot I was coming, right?” 

“...He’s in the shower.”

The angry stranger on his doorstep extended his hand brusquely. “Karkat Vantas.”

Dirk had barely a moment to touch hands and brush shadows (concern, frustration, obstinance) before Vantas was on through the door, already calling out for Gamzee.

_ That’s not a person, that’s a whirlwind,  _ Hal said.

Dirk shut the door behind said act of nature, wondering if he should offer his name. There was a muffled yell of acknowledgement from the shower at the end of the hallway as Vantas kicked cords out of the way and dumped his backpack on the couch. His shadow settled on the wall, observing critically.

“Don’t hesitate to come in,” Dirk said.

Vantas spun around, mouth opening on a retort and then paused mid-word, blinked twice, and somehow furrowed his brow even harder. His finger stabbed out accusingly. “You’re  _ Dave’s  _ brother.”

Behind his shades, Dirk did some blinking of his own. “Uh…”

Vantas refolded his arms, eyes narrowing. “So are you the big asshole or the little asshole? You don’t look old enough to be the big asshole.”

“Guess that makes me the little asshole,” Dirk muttered, nonplussed. He fought the urge to fold his own arms defensively. “How do you know Dave.” 

“Jerks gravitate to me. I know them all. I’m surprised we haven’t met before. Also, he’s dating a friend of mine and we have Gay History together.”

Dirk’s eyebrows climbed, pretty much against his will.

Vantas colored dramatically. “It’s a  _ class,  _ fuckwit. Historical Perspectives on Sexuality from Europe to the United States. And don’t try to change the subject; we’re talking about you and your history of dickishness.”

_ Yes, because this asshole has a lot of room to talk,  _ Hal said.

“I don’t see why we’re talking about anything at all,” Dirk said flatly. And then, despite himself: “...Dave said I was a dick?”

“ _History_ of dickishness. I said history as in _past_.” Vantas paused to study him. “Seems like you’re doing better lately,” he said grudgingly. “He even does his ramble thing about your rap meetups now, that’s probably a good sign.”

Dirk’s shoulders relaxed. He hadn’t even realized they were tensing. “Oh. ...good.”

_ You know, the last dude to keep you this wrong-footed you ended up living with,  _ Hal said.  _ Think this one’s about to move in? _

_ I _ \-- Dirk realized he had no idea what to say. Down the hall the shower shut off. Oh, thank god.

_ Yes, naked Gamzee entering this clusterfuck, _ Hal said dryly.  _ You’re saved.  _

Gamzee stepped into the hall, resplendently clad in that damn tiny towel. “Hey, best friend!” His smile could have lit up the entire hallway. Beelining straight to Vantas, he scooped him off the ground into a hug, presenting an image rather like a brick being cuddled by a friendly stick. The brick flailed ineffectively. Trailing at Gamzee’s heels, Kurloz nipped around to the opposite side of Vantas, swirling and reshaping himself so as to avoid the other shadow entirely. Vantas’s shadow did his own well-practiced avoidance shuffle.

Dirk did his best not to dwell on the vast stretches of damp, bare skin being displayed. Wet black curls straggled over Gamzee’s shoulders, ending just above the dark script of the tattoo that curved across his spine, just above his shoulder blades. Dirk had an increasing amount of feelings about the import that the phrase  _ Lux Aeterna  _ might have for Gamzee.

“You been making good acquaintance with my motherfucking roommate?” Gamzee said to Vantas, squeezing him.

Was this hug going on a little long, or was that just Dirk, feeling like a third wheel?

“Put me down, you giant oaf. I’m not answering any questions while being trundled around like a stuffed toy. I am not your teddy bear.”

“Aw, but you’re all tiny and cute and fun to get my cuddle on with.” Gamzee set Vantas’s feet on the ground and dropped a kiss on his forehead.

Fourth wheel, even. Seventeenth.

“Yes, yes. I am a font of varied and magnificent qualities. And I believe the phrase you are looking for is tiny but  _ deadly _ .” Blushing and carefully avoiding looking at Dirk, Vantas planted a palm on Gamzee’s face and shoved it away when Gamzee seemed inclined to continue kissing. “Blugh, you got water all over me.” Stepping back, he looked Gamzee’s (mostly naked) form over, landing on the (way too fucking small) towel. Vantas’s fuzzy eyebrows hitched up. He turned to look at Dirk. “Holy hell, you towel-trained him.”

Dirk blinked, eyes flicking to the scrap of fabric in question despite himself. “Not noticeably.”

“No, fuck you, do you even  _ know  _ how many times this douchebag nearly blinded me wandering through the common rooms bareass fucking naked? Terezi and Vriska ganged up and ambushed him with towels for like a month and it still didn’t leave an impression. What did you _ do?  _ Were cattleprods involved?”

“Er,” said Dirk, who didn’t recall doing anything in particular. (Gamzee stepping out of the bathroom that first time, towel over his hair, long limbs still spangled with droplets, naked and lean and utterly unselfconscious. Dirk frozen, burrito halfway to his mouth, face blank, mind blank, completely blue-screened. One brief pulse of shock/attraction/intrigue, echoing between Hal and Dirk, and the resulting startled look on Gamzee’s face.)

Dirk’s eyebrows pinched together.  _ Oh, hell,  _ he muttered to Hal.  _ Think we freaked him out? _

_ Couldn’t be that much, judging by the size of the towel. _

Dirk caught the sideways glance Gamzee shot him, eyes widening. Oh god.  _ Dude, you have a real knack for your side of the conversation sounding terrible taken out of context. _

_ I try,  _ Hal said smugly.

Vantas was still staring at Dirk, waiting for an answer.

“I keep the cattleprods for serious relationships,” Dirk said. “They’re under the bed.”

Vantas rolled his eyes. “I’d be annoyed at the blatant flippancy, but I’ve known Dave for too long. At this point it just sounds like the ceaseless, droning wind that is the background of my terrible life.” 

Gamzee just grinned at Dirk. “Not the kind of prod I up and favor.”

Dirk kept his face absolutely blank. He’d had some practice the past couple of weeks. He was 95% sure that none of Gamzee’s flirting was serious, but he was awfully persistent with it. He’d gotten a few good scores off of Dirk and now he was addicted. That, or it was some kind of defensive reflex, meant to keep Dirk off balance.

“Oh my god,” Vantas said in disgust, “Why would you make me listen to that with my own two ears?” He shoved at Gamzee. “Go put some clothes on, dumbass. I’m not hanging out with you one scant piece of terrycloth away from your bits.”

Gamzee shrugged lazily. “Sure thing, my best brother.” He beamed one more time from Vantas to Dirk and then headed for his bedroom. As he passed Dirk, he paused just long enough to brush one hand over Dirk’s bare shoulder before moving quickly on. 

The resonance struck through Dirk, brief and then gone, but the impression lingered disorientingly, as usual. Under Vantas’s unimpressed gaze, Dirk struggled not to show the effects as the echoes shuddered through him. There was a top layer today of happiness/companionship/excitement, over the more familiar deep-laid anger/satisfaction. And much, much deeper down, that permalayer underpinning everything of hunger/fear/need that reached and grabbed and clung, pulled and consumed.

Dirk was pretty sure even a few weeks ago it would have been impossible to stand impassive under the onslaught, but thanks to Gamzee he’d had a lot of practice with this, too. For some reason the dude had cultivated this habit of… touching. Not anything sexual, not even apparently  _ related  _ to the solely verbal flirting. Just casual touches, curious and exploratory. Brushing fingertips over Dirk’s arm or hand or shoulder, skin against skin, whenever they crossed paths in the apartment. Setting off the damn resonance without warning, any hour of the night or day, because Dirk was a dumbass and had totally started this.

He’d thought it was a clever idea, carrying through the exposure therapy plan, to institute small, regular desensitization opportunities. Just the offer of a fistbump at the door, or a high five after a video game; little, low-stakes touches, totally at Gamzee’s discretion and control to accept or refuse.

He had not intended Gamzee to take the idea and run with it.

_ Foiled again by other people’s agency,  _ Hal commented.

_ Dude, a mostly naked guy just felt up my soul in front of his cuddle-bro. You could cut me some slack for half a minute while I adjust to my life. _

_ Half a minute. Thirty-second countdown starting now,  _ Hal replied, and went pointedly silent. Still smug as a motherfucker, though.

Vantas was still glowering at Dirk with what could only be classified as Deep Suspicion. “I knew you were weirder than Dave, but how are you weirder than Dave.” Turning his back, he stalked over to the couch and threw himself down by his shadow, muttering under his breath with occasional pauses for unheard input.

Dirk decided he probably didn’t want to know what they were talking about.

Rather than flee to his room, he set about making himself lunch. 

By the time he finished with that, Gamzee was dressed and out of his room and cuddling with Vantas on the sofa. Not that Dirk was observing every detail from the corner of his eye.

_ Stalker,  _ Hal commented, and Dirk had a split second’s panic before realizing that Gamzee had absolutely no attention to spare, completely absorbed as he was in their low-voiced conversation. As Dirk watched, Gamzee smiled and pulled Vantas onto his lap to murmur into his ear.

_ So,  _ Hal said, blasé. _ They seem close.  _

_ I hate you,  _ Dirk said.

_ That’s like hating your reflection in the mirror. Do you think they’re dating? _

_ Do you think it matters?  _ Dirk returned. _ Given the level of intimacy currently unfolding on the couch, I really doubt that the specific label is going to magically change the fact that we’re watching a beautiful daytime TV romance.  _ He stuffed another pasta-laden fork into his mouth and chewed vengefully.  _ Next episode we find out I’m secretly his father. _

_ Kinky. _

Despite himself, his eyes slid back to the scene on the couch. Vantas’s shadow was curled in close, the bigger-than-life silhouette of him arcing over them on the wall like a second embrace. From this angle Dirk couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked like one shadow-hand might even be brushing Gamzee’s arm draped along the back of the couch. 

  
Dirk’s heart twinged. That was… he hadn’t ever seen Gamzee so trusting or relaxed or… open. That looked. Nice. Right.

_ We couldn’t be that open with someone else if you paid us and we spent two years practicing,  _ Hal murmured, and despite Gamzee’s apparent inattention, he was still careful to curl all his edges in around the words in the way he’d found that made them mostly inaudible.

Dirk wanted to deny it, but, factually speaking, couldn’t swing it. That kind of intimacy was pretty demonstrably out of his reach. He knew how his relationships ended: he was too needy and too distant; too pushy and too standoffish, both at once somehow--a suffocating, poorly emoted dichotomy of fail. 

_Yes, but we're fun,_ Hal quipped. 

_Don't forget heart-stoppingly handsome._

_Well, duh._

Dirk was turning to leave, when another detail caught his eye. Vantas’s shadow was snuggled in close, but Kurloz lurked on the wall beside the couch, well away from the lovefest taking place thereon. It was impossible to tell if his distance was due to some kind of judgment and dislike or approval and a desire not to interfere. Or complete indifference, for that matter.

It made a more intriguing image to puzzle over as he made his way back to his room than the snuggle-buddies, anyway.

\------

As soon as the douchebag left the room, taking his bizarre, headache-inducing shadow with him, Karkat grabbed Gamzee by the cheeks and leaned in close. “Gamzee. What the fuck. You didn’t tell me the person you had resonance with was also the douchebag you moved in with! You didn’t think that was maybe an important fucking detail? Oh my god, there are so many ways this could go wrong I can’t even begin to list them. What are we going to do with you?”

_ On the slim chance that this doesn’t go completely fucking pear-shaped it's actually kind of romantic,  _ Karkat’s shadow Tegmen chimed in, sort of dry and amused and concerned all at once.  _ Ask him about the touching thing. _

Since there was no one around to be perturbed by Gamzee answering a question that hadn’t been asked aloud, Karkat just gave him an expectant look. “Yes, that. Explain yourself.”

Gamzee blinked mildly, an expression that Karkat knew better than to trust. He leaned his cheek into Karkat’s hand. “What all touches did you want to be hearing about, my brother? The ones I want to be making or the ones I have?”

Karkat moved one hand to clutch at his own hair. “Why would you even ask me that, you heinous reprobate? I have no interest in whatever deviant acts you want to perform in the future. Or have in the past, god! I am hanging onto my tiny finger’s hold of interest in the events of fifteen fucking minutes ago when you patted his shoulder and you looked like you were having some kind of religious experience. You know, as you high-tailed it out the door.”

Gamzee shivered slightly and grinned. “What can I say, my best beloved? That resonance shit is something else. Like having fingers all up in my soul, stroking all sweet and tender perilous.”

Karkat’s face went hot and his brother shifted another degree closer, right up to the edges of Gamzee’s space. “ _ No _ , okay, you are not allowed to just  _ say _ shit like that; we talked about this. I’m going to have to get the bleach and pour it into my ears now to cauterize the gaping acid burns left on my brain from thinking about that asshole snuggling your soul.”

Tegmen nudged him, mildly reproachful.

“...That sounds nice, though,” he added. “I’m glad the resonance isn’t freaking you out anymore.”

“Oh, it’s still freaky as all motherfuck, brother. Just, I’m getting the taste for it now.”

Karkat sighed and sat back on Gamzee’s lap to look him over again. “And also you have a crush on the guy. You know moving in with him is a really bad way to start a relationship, right? What happens if this shits itself all up and down the street? You could end up heartbroken and covered in feces  _ and  _ homeless is what I am saying; are you hearing me here?”

_ Just because they have resonance doesn’t actually mean they know each other,  _ his shadow agreed. 

Gamzee responded to this honest outpouring of concern with a peaceful, dopey grin and a hug that shoved Karkat’s nose into his sharp-boned shoulder. “Aw, best friend. Won’t no way be anything that hasn’t happened before. Can’t go not doing things just because they might bring pain all down on you later.”

“No! No. That is exactly when you don’t go doing things. When they seem likely to explode in your face causing massive casualties to everyone in the vicinity. Oh my god.” Karkat rested against him a minute, breathing into his shirt and taking comfort in Gamzee’s warmth and solidity and the fact that he hadn’t been killed by his own idiocy ever, so far.

After a while, Karkat said, “I can’t believe you wear a towel for him.”

Gamzee shrugged, uncharacteristically silent. Karkat leaned back to look at him and Gamzee avoided his eyes. 

“Are you blushing? Holy shit, I had no idea you were capable of blushing.”

_ I like that he’s blushing over *wearing a towel*,  _ Tegmen said.  _ Trust Gamzee fucking Makara to get embarrassed over modesty.  _

“You really fucking like him, don’t you?”

Gamzee stopped squirming and looked at Karkat, suddenly stripped down to honesty, eyes direct and sincere and scared. “...I really motherfucking do, bro.”

The air shivered around them. Karkat was briefly distracted by the familiar, creepy black-oil slink of Gamzee’s shadow making his presence known. Then he shook it off and ignored it. He’d come to accept Gamzee’s shadow as a necessary evil. He always had the impression Gamzee’s shadow tolerated him like some kind of benign if annoying pet of Gamzee’s, and he was perfectly content to return the favor.

Karkat blew out a breath and leaned until their foreheads pressed together. “Okay. Okay. I accept this. Idiotic as this seems, it’s important to you, so it’s… important to me. Or something. I guess.”

_ We’re so eloquent today,  _ his brother muttered, and curved a little farther around them both.

Gamzee smiled, looking down. “Thanks, bro.”

Karkat grumbled at him. “Yeah, well, you can like as many douchebags as you want. Collect a dozen! I’ll help you dust them weekly. Just... explain to me why you like this one in particular?”

“He’s been all manner of kindness to me,” Gamzee said earnestly.

_ I thought they got in a fight the first time the two of them met. _

“That Crocker person is kind to you; _I’m_ kind to you. Kindness is like the bare minimum of basic human interaction. It’s not a sufficient basis for a full-fledged romantic entanglement.”

Gamzee tilted his head thoughtfully from one side to the other. “Why...?” he said, musing. “He’s got the looks, but that’s a trifle. The courtesy’s a sweetness unexpected, for all it don’t come native to him.” He looked back at Karkat, face serious. “He  _ apologizes. _ That ain’t a thing so common as to go unnoted. He does wrong, he up and makes his sorrow for it known.”

Gamzee thought a moment more and perked. “He makes no mind of Kurloz! Brother doesn’t get scared, doesn’t get to flinching or pulling away. He gives no ground. Kurloz gets his mirth on, the brother steps right up.” 

Oh, right, Karkat thought. ‘Mirth.’ That was some kind of Makara code for his shadow being a creepy, aggressive asshole. 

Gamzee had apparently found his flow, though. “Brother don’t let me rest easy, either. He challenges always, he pushes--but not too hard. Wicked good with his hands, too. He  _ makes  _ shit. You seen that bench over there, bro?”

Karkat glanced over at said bench, almost lost in the tangle of wires and pieces of various metal shit creeping out onto the nearby counter and floor.

_ Having eyes that aren't rolling free from your sockets, obviously you have somehow managed to perceive it, yeah. _

“What he said.” Karkat looked back at Gamzee. “Clearly you’ve been paying enough attention to this asshole to have a list of his questionably positive traits just kind of… on hand--okay, I’m getting that. You like a lot of things about him. But let me ask this: you’re living with this dude. You like him. Then what? What do you actually want here? Do you want to stay with him forever, you want a casual fling, you want to be besties and hold hands while throwing flowers, what?”

Gamzee shrugged and grinned. “Wow, that sure is a whole passel of things. I’ll take whatever I can motherfucking get, bro.”

“I didn’t ask what you would be _willing to_ _take_ , I asked what you _want_.”

Gamzee flinched, eyes darting away from Karkat’s. There was a long silence before he mumbled, “Dunno, brother.”

Karkat sighed and reached out to turn Gamzee’s face back to meet his eyes. “You’re allowed to want things, you know. Wanting it does not automatically mean you’re not going to get it.”

Gamzee’s hand covered Karkat’s against his cheek, touching but not holding. “‘s motherfucking dangerous, though. Soon’s you up and let them know what you want, they got a hold against you.”

_ And if some douchebag uses it against him that Gamzee likes him, it becomes really clear that he’s a douchebag. Ta-dah, one less douchebag to waste a crush on. _

“Do you think he would?” Karkat said.

Gamzee frowned and nibbled on his lip. “Dunno,” he said, again, and then quieter, “Could be not.” 

The words hung uncomfortably in the air, the moment stretching between them, and then it vanished completely as Kurloz swept down off the wall to wrap around Gamzee.

Karkat twitched back instinctively, then pulled himself together and held his ground. None of the coils of shadow strayed off Gamzee to touch Karkat, mostly twisting around his middle and back where he was safely out of contact. As aggressively possessive as Kurloz was, he was at least good about not threatening to overshadow Karkat. 

That didn’t keep the teeth-grating feel of him from encroaching on Karkat’s peace of mind, but that was nothing new and he’d be damned if he let Gamzee’s asshole shadow dictate the terms of their relationship. 

Gamzee was smiling. He always looked so fucking happy when his shadow pulled this cuddly bullshit that it made Karkat’s heart hurt. He couldn’t even get properly annoyed. Karkat arranged himself over the parts of Gamzee that were safely shadow-free and settled in to keep jamming. 

So many fucking douchebags in this guy’s life.

_ But we’re the best ones. _

\------

After Karkat left, Gamzee was still sitting on the couch, cogitating on the matter, when Dirk came out of his room. Motherfucker looked blank as ever, but the twitch and hum of his shadow’s energy all through the room said different, named him all on edge and uncertain. Seemed like a distraction wouldn’t come amiss, on more accounts than his. 

Gamzee aimed a smile his way. Got ready to ask, and caught himself up, remembering all the brother had said on the topic of shared space and not asking after permission every time. 

“Wanna beat my ass at balloon racing?” he offered, like use of console, TV, and game was his to up and give.

Dirk paused maybe a half-beat, before changing direction toward the couch. “My heart’s desire. How did you guess?”

Kurloz grudgingly drew back a Dirk-width of space to Gamzee’s side, and Dirk placidly settled in the small space allotted him, like he took no note of the nearness of Gamzee’s shadow. Dirk’s own shadow up and plopped himself down along the arm of the couch like he was sitting there. 

Five minutes into the game, Dirk came out with, “Have a nice visit with your boyfriend?”

“Hell yeah, brother,” Gamzee said, even as Hal made a little muffled noise like  _ pfft _ . “Had a wicked fine time with my best beloved.” In the strange silence that followed he remembered the fierce talking-to Karkat had delivered on him motherfucking months back. “‘Cept he doesn’t like me naming him such. Says calling him boyfriend gets a harsh confusion on anybody as doesn’t know what I mean by it.”

Dirk shot him a sideways look from behind his shades. “...Right. And you would never want to be confusing.”

_ Oh, I’m sure we could be more confused if he worked at it,  _ Hal said.

Gamzee got distracted from guiding his balloon up a cliff, blinking at the brother. “Where’s to be confused at? I love him whole and deep and true and that’s the word what gets used for that, ain’t it?”

Dirk looked nonplussed. “Not… the first definition that comes to mind, but that sounds about right. So what’s your not-boyfriend got against the word boyfriend?”

“Oh, motherfuck, my brother. I asked after that and he said all kinds of words at me like ‘exclusivity’ and ‘platonic’ and ‘toxic heteronormative assumptions about romance’. All on about society trying to force relationships into boxes and what not.” Gamzee leaned closer to Dirk and lowered his voice, grinning. “‘Specially ‘bout the platonic thing. He gets so fucking blushy it’s the cutest thing, any time some fucker thinks we get to touching bits.”

Dirk seemed utterly unable to look away, even though on the screen his balloon was getting all hung up on the tree level. “So… you guys don’t touch bits?”

_ Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth right now?  _ Hal said. Dirk stiffened up abruptly and set his eyes back to the screen.

Gamzee pulled a face, still grinning. “Hell, no, bro. Got no motherfucking interest in his bits and no more does he at mine. We got a thing as deep between us, but less bodies and more hearts and minds all in alignment.” He paused and shot a sly, sideways glance at Dirk. “You got some interest in whose bits mine get to touching?”

Dirk’s fingers missed a button and his balloon plowed into a pointy-beaked bird. He sat still, face frozen blank, all through the loading screen as Gamzee’s grin gradually shrank. Could be he shouldn’t have said that. But the start jingle played and the brother went back to maneuvering his balloon back up the cliff after Gamzee’s, so the comment couldn't have gone awry as all that. He figured, anyhow.

“Okay, no,” Dirk said, abruptly, and paused the game.

Gamzee flinched back instinctively as the brother turned to face him direct. Kurloz, who had been paying them no mind, abruptly snapped to.

“I’ve been pussyfooting around this long enough,” Dirk went on, “being shy or whatever shit. I’m going to quit that now. Cards on the table: I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.”

Gamzee’s eyes widened, all motherfucking confusion.

“You’ve been flirting with me non-stop, which is, you know, fine, but also I can’t actually tell if that’s a serious thing or a reflex or a defense mechanism, and that’s in addition to the touching, which is also fine, but I gotta say, is also  _ really fucking confusing,  _ especially because you started out totally freaking out about it so it’s kind of hard to figure out where the lines are here, and I don’t want to push--speaking of which, if you never wore a towel before, why the fuck are you wearing one now? Even if it is more like a hand towel. Or a washcloth. Is that a me thing? Did I do something to make you uncomfortable? In which case, why the fuck would you still be doing the flirting and touching thing while still mostly naked? Except if it’s a defensive thing which--see point A, I have no idea what is going on here.”

Gamzee stared at the brother, Kurloz right alongside, over his shoulder. “Holy shit, bro.”

_ Do you like us?  _ Hal said. _ Check yes or no. _

Dirk put his hands over his face.

Gamzee’s mouth pulled up on one side in a quizzical half-grin. His best beloved had said he ought to be making effort at this--and this wasn’t no kind of challenging question. “Uh, yes? Where’s the motherfucking ticky-box, I’ll get a pen.”

Dirk dropped his hands and just stared for a long moment. “...I still can’t tell if you’re being serious.”

Gamzee blinked, no notion on him of how exactly that could be mistook. Brother had a real suspicious mind to him. “Oh, yeah?” His smile twitched a little as a quivery feeling came up in his stomach.  _ Want to take whatever you can get, better motherfucking take it, _ he thought, or Kurloz did; hard to tell who said it first. Dropping his controller, he leaned forward a little. “Let’s see how you get on your judgement of this,” he said, and leaned in and kissed the brother.

He got to enjoy one brief breath of soft warm lips on his before the resonance up and crashed down. Instead of getting all bowled over and twisted around by it now, he was starting to find the trick of riding it, letting those chords chime through where they matched without paying overmuch heed to the dissonances they made against other parts of him. That underlayer to the brother of  _ drive held in check _ was there as always, but Gamzee hardly paid it mind, too caught up in the hot charge of shock and attraction over top. 

Also pretty distracted by the kissing. Which was worth paying attention to. It seemed to take the brother a minute to get his feet under him, but once he’d rallied, holy fuck. Seemed like he knew what he was doing, like to get Gamzee all flushed up.

After a couple of minutes, Gamzee pulled back. Dirk looked all taken to pieces, brown cheeks flushed, lips rosy, breathing fast. Made a brother feel like a motherfucking  _ god _ \--and no small amount of heat in with that pride. 

Beside him on the wall and close in at the back of his brain Kurloz thrummed with amusement and smug satisfaction.  _ Fine work, my brother, fit to bring his respect and tribute as is due. _

Dirk settled back slightly on the sofa and licked his lips. He ran an absent hand through his hair, disheveling the careful spikes. After a moment he said, “Okay, but the confusion doesn’t stop from happening.”

Gamzee’s lips curled up and he tilted his head lazily. “You sure that’s confusion and not wanting for another kiss?”

The flicker of lust that echoed across from Hal drew Gamzee’s lips wider still. 

Dirk drew in an uneven breath. “So is this like an either-or situation or…”

Gamzee laughed and surged forward again, gleeful in his triumph. This time one hand laid on the brother’s shoulder while the other worked up into his hair, resonance ringing through the both of them all the louder for the reinforced contact as they met at the lips. 

Dirk came back at him with just as much fervor, pushing into the hold before nipping him sharply on the lip. Gamzee groaned in startlement and they pulled back for air. 

“No, but seriously, words time now.”

Gamzee aimed a sulky look at him, mostly for play. “Actions got more--” he paused to smirk “--meat to ‘em, bro.”

Dirk pinched his lips. “You’re going to have to postpone your desperation for the sausage until I know exactly what’s being put on the grill here. What is this thing that is happening.”

“It’s called kissing, brother,” Gamzee said helpfully. “Could up and call it make-outs, too. Or necking.”

Dirk raised a middle finger. 

Gamzee gave his best innocent look in response.

_ You know what’s even more fun than discussions or making out?  _ said Hal. _ Grade school banter. It’s way cute, guys. A+ use of time. _

Kurloz snorted and murmured in Gamzee’s mind,  _ He should know, all full of childish insult and disrespect as he is.  _ One tendril of shadow unfurled across the wall, encroaching on Hal’s sofa arm. Hal stretched casually, refusing to be intimidated, and Kurloz purred a predator's satisfaction, the hum of it spinning down Gamzee's spine.

Ignoring the shadow byplay as usual, Dirk ran a hand into his hair, further disarranging it. “Look. I just want to work out the parameters of the interaction here. I don’t want to cross any lines. Or...whatever. What are you looking for with this?”

Aw, shit. Gamzee pulled back into his own section of the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest. Kurloz drew back with him, abandoning Hal to curl shadow vines around Gamzee’s limbs. As little ease as the question had being answered for Karkat, it had less with this brother.

Weren’t no kind of safety in wanting. Any want he stated aloud, however small, might be just the wrong thing and make the brother pull back. Couldn’t guess what would be the right answer--couldn’t keep silence. He tried a shrug. “Whatever you’re down with, bro. I don’t got a lot of lines.”

The flare of reaction that sang out from the brother’s shadow was all complicated. Tangle of uncertainty, alarm and rising perturbation, and somewhere, singing low and sweet down hidden in the background, a little flicker of interest. Meantime the brother’s face made not a twitch, still as a rock wall. He leaned back carefully into his own space and tucked his hands into his pockets. “Nevertheless. Let’s do the heavy lifting to pencil in some loose guidelines here.”

No surprise the motherfucker wouldn’t let up. That persistence wound all through his very soul, nuisance that it was to run up against it like this.

Gamzee chewed his lip and Kurloz flared up comforting around him.  _ Little brother, he’s a fierce hunger for you already. Small risk to step forward and seize him when he offers so nicely. And if he lacks understanding to cherish you all right and proper, he ain’t worth the thought you’re giving this.  _ He curled more tightly still around limbs and mind, and the thought echoed down low.  _ (No matter what others come and go, I’m with you always, always, always.) _

A smile lit all on its own on Gamzee’s face. He lifted his eyes back to Dirk’s pointy shades and contemplated a second. He knew always that Kurloz was at his back, but the hearing of it helped nonetheless. And if Kurloz and Karkat, who so rarely agreed, united on this front, could be he should take thought and try. 

So what  _ was  _ he looking for? What down in the heart of him did he truly motherfucking want?

He bit his lip again, took a breath. “I want to be real and true, me with you and you with me and us together. I want to kiss you and fuck you and know you entire. And have you do as much for me. I want to have and  _ hold,  _ brother.”

This time the surge of reaction off Hal flared bright and hot and hard, lust and a powerful interest slamming out like to slap Gamzee in the face before it all snapped back in again, curling and hidden. Dirk stared at him a long moment. “Wow, straight to the marriage speech.”

Gamzee blinked, no clue to him what the brother was on about.

“Ohhh...kay.” Dirk jerked his head once, drawing himself back up sharp and focused-like. “Let’s take this from the top. I’m guessing ‘being real and true’ is related to the ‘know you entire’ subclause. So, emotional honesty. That’s a fairly standard relationship expectation. I can work with that.”

_ Yeah, that kind of openness is totally your strong point, _ Hal said.  _ You never try to hide your true feelings and reactions. Full disclosure, 100%, that is you. _

“I’m sure you will help,” Dirk said, through his teeth. His shoulders had hitched up tight and he settled them again. “So. ‘Me with you and you with me.’ That seems to imply some expectation of exclusivity, or possibly I’m reading too much into it? Is this the monogamous dating type of ‘with’? Actually, is this the dating type of ‘with’ at all?”

“Yes?” Gamzee ventured, in case that was the correct answer. “Dating’s got a nice sound to it. Not so sure about that exclusivity shit, though. ...That a thing as you’re looking for?”

“Dating implies commitment, which… I could be convinced to be in favor of. In current circumstances. Exclusivity I could take or leave.”

“Bitchtits!” Gamzee said, grinning, then raised one eyebrow. He dropped his voice half an octave. “So you want convincing. Should I get on my persuasion?” 

Brother turned that pretty rosy brown color again. “Whoa there, stallion. How’s a girl supposed to think straight when you keep bucking in that suggestive manner? Gotta get through the formalities before anyone gets a pony ride. I believe the next point was 'knowing me completely'. So are you expecting--”

“Hang up, bro,” Gamzee cut in with a smirk. “You skipped a bit.”

Hal went into a fit of sniggering.

“I’m aware,” Dirk said dryly. “‘Fuck me and kiss me,’ check. Did I not just say about the pony rides?”

Kurloz surprised Gamzee by favoring that with quiet laughter. Most times what amused him was more like to be some hapless soul’s floundering than a clever thing out of anyone besides Gamzee.

“I don’t actually require clarification on that topic,” Dirk finished. “At least not verbally and not yet.”

“Got it. Nonverbal clarification I got on tap whenever you want.”

“Circling relentlessly back to the point,” Dirk said, “Are you expecting to know all the minutiae of my life back and forth or do I get to keep some stuff to myself?”

Gamzee gave him a mild frown. “I got no need to know your every secret, bro, just… don't keep your truth hid back and masked from me. And don't hide a matter what might rise up and take me unawares like to do harm.”

“And does that work both ways?”

That caught him, held him startled somehow. “...Yeah,” Gamzee said slow. “Best as I can manage it. Little inclination on me to mask me away. That’s no trouble. And I won’t go hiding shit a’ purpose, but matters do rise up on me without notice at times.”

“That seems reasonable.” The brother tilted his head. “Assuming that ‘have and hold’ is a rhetorical turn of speech and not actually either a wedding proposal or a perpetual bondage proposition I think that covers your stipulations. Honesty, commitment sans exclusivity, a certain level of transparency, and sex. That was in there. I haven’t forgotten.”

Gamzee leaned closer, grinning wide and sharp. “Good. Me neither.” Then he blinked and pulled back. “We slid right over the other part, though. What all desires you got up in you for this?”

The brother’s face was blank and still for a long moment. The vibe off his shadow took that curly turned-in feel again, all locked out of reach. Dirk shrugged. “I think you’ve pretty much covered all the bases.”

Gamzee raised his eyebrows. “Damn, bro, that transparency  _ is  _ going to be a job of work for you, ain’t it?”

Dirk flinched so slightly a body almost could miss it, but for being close-tuned to him just now. It tugged at the heart a bit--Gamzee hadn’t meant to lay the brother low with guilt. Weren’t used to his words having much of any impact at all. Was a power unexpected.

“Yep, guess so.” Dirk pressed his lips together. He paused one more heartbeat and then Gamzee felt that curly locked-up sensation unfurling as Hal’s presence opened to him all at once. The emotion that swept out with it was crackling electric unease with a gracenote of defiance, all guilt and self-recrimination heavy underneath. 

Gamzee froze, like as not to startle some wild thing what had ventured too close. “Whoa, brother. No need to push to strain and aching. I said share in honesty, not splay your ribs wide for me and open up your insides. Not like I mind, but seems you do.”

Dirk’s lips stayed pressed together and his brows ticked in slightly. That defiant note to Hal sang higher for a moment. 

_ Wow, make up your mind already._

Dirk’s frown at Gamzee deepened in agreement. “Getting kind of mixed messages here, bro. Do you want openness or not?”

Gamzee frowned at him right back. “I ain’t motherfucking mixing nothing. I want your truth; I never asked that you should suffer for it. If there’s a thing as you can’t share without pain, I’ll make no demands on it, but leave be. That’s a truth, too.”

“Pain’s relative,” Dirk said, but more like habit than anything. “All right. I… take your point. As far as what I want, that’s obviously a really hypocritically complicated subject for me at present. Can we say for the moment that I am fine with the current stipulations and I’ll let you know if anything comes up? And I will… work on the other stuff. I’m actually reasonably comfortable with the emotional eavesdropping most days. Pokerface is just a very persistent habit.”

Gamzee propped his elbow on the back of the sofa, relaxing. “Fair enough, my brother. All fine by me, just so if a thing arises you mention it at me. I’m content.” He blinked and smiled, warmth slipping all through him as the import of this came home. Motherfuck, he snagged him a boyfriend. Like, not just for a sweet touch and gone again, but for keeping. Could be, anyhow. “Hell, bro, more than content.”

Dirk actually tipped his head and slid him a bit of a smile. His shadow was still a defiantly open presence, emotions settling down, dark shape of him lounging back across the sofa arm and the wall.

Kurloz made an oddly intrigued hum at the back of Gamzee’s mind.  _ Do you good to get more touching, little brother. That little block of a thing you play with is better than naught, but these brothers won’t hold back on any pleasure they can give.  _

Oh, pleasure. There was an alluring thought. Gamzee’s smile shifted to something sweet and slow and hungry. “So. ‘Bout those pony rides.”

Dirk lifted an eyebrow as a wash of intrigued heat swept out from Hal. “Well, you do satisfy the height requirement.”

Gamzee blinked and his smile curled a little slyer. No notion to him what all those words might mean, but he had the thought at him as they were just thrown out to fill the air, so paid them little attention. “Not all I’ll satisfy,” he breathed and leaned in to find Dirk’s lips. 

Dirk fell into the kiss a lot quicker this time, sighing soft against Gamzee as the resonance washed through them. His hands worked their way up into Gamzee’s hair, twining and tugging. Holding fast. Gamzee slid his arms around, one hand on the brother’s back, low, the other curved around the back of his neck. Hal was surprisingly close there, Gamzee could feel the buzz and static of him almost brushing the edge of his palm, as a stretch of shadow slid over Dirk’s back. Kurloz slipped across the wall to right beside where Dirk and Gamzee sat wrapped up in each other. The rumbling hum of satisfaction at the back of Gamzee’s mind was even louder now, which pleased and took him by surprise in equal measure.

Dirk pulled back a slim space and Gamzee made moan of dismay, but a breath later Dirk’s teeth were back, nipping along his jaw. Gamzee groaned and clung at him.

Some jangly little pop song set to shrilling in his ear.

Dirk straightened, then bent to bang his head on Gamzee’s shoulder. “Hal,” he groaned. “Fry the phone.”

_ We can’t afford a new phone every time an alarm goes off, bro. _

“How ‘bout just when it’s a cockblock?”

_ Sure. We blowing off that whole earning a degree thing for sweet make-outs? _

Gamzee cocked his head. “What’s up, bro?”

Dirk huffed out a sigh and went to peel himself away, standing. Gamzee fought the urge to grab him back. “I have to get in to lab. I’ve got a timepoint to collect for my experiment.”

“And that’s got to get its happen on right  _ now _ ?” Gamzee said mournfully.

Dirk hesitated, ducked back in for a kiss, ducked away again. “...Sorry. Trust me, you’re way more interesting than cross-dimensional vibration curves right now. But this won’t wait.” He hesitated again, shifting on his feet. “...Hold that thought?”

Gamzee heaved a vast and dramatic sigh, flopping back against the couch where Kurloz pooled. “Yeah, brother, I’ll hold it tight, sure enough.” He swept his eyes up Dirk and smiled all purposeful. “Take too long and I might get started without you. You hold  _ that _ thought while you’re about your business.”

Dirk’s hands twitched on his keys, but the brother played it cool. A surge of mingled lust and flusterment rose off of Hal, though. “Got it,” Dirk said, and made good haste out the door.

Gamzee sighed again, stretched out an arm for Kurloz to wrap around. 

_ How ‘bout that, my brother, _ he murmured to Kurloz.  _ Never did believe that ‘ask and ye shall receive’ shit before. _

Kurloz rumbled smug reassurance and Gamzee grinned. Now all he had to do was test the bounds of his patience. Wasn’t sure but that it might only be ten minutes waiting for a brother before he gave up and took a certain pressing matter into his own hands.

**Author's Note:**

> "Tegmen" or "Tegmine", a star in the constellation Cancer, meaning "shell of the crab." Also, the protective outer wing of an insect. :)


End file.
